Thursday, July 22, 2010
So they say there's a lid for every pot...
Now I'm definitely not the authority on relationships.Let me just be abundantly clear that the person that everyone talks about "never finding the right one" and "she sure is unlucky in love" well guess what? That person is me!I have not had many relationships in my life, but I'm a relationship girl.The idea of casual dating is such a new and incredibly novel idea to me that I don't even know what it means.I bounce from long relationship to long relationship always picking up the pieces along the way and trying to find a way to recover from the last one before it.Kind of like Humpty Dumpty, putting the pieces back together again.But how long do you think it would take Humpty Dumpty to keep falling over before he just said, "Eff this, I don't want to do it anymore?"
Well that brings me to my next point: My Mom has always told me there's a lid for every pot and don't worry honey there's someone out there for you I promise!Now I know that I haven't made the best choices in men in my life, but I look at that as a journey and a chapter in a book.They have all touched my lives in one way or the other whether it was a positive or negative impact.So once one chapter is done then you just move on to the next one.Well it just seems like lately my book is like a book full of chapters full of just one page because that's how quickly I move on.So in essence I haven't met "THE ONE" yet.But what does that mean "THE ONE?" Let's see if the future Mr. Right for the Future and not Mr. Right Now can meet and understand these standards because so far no one has, and believe me I'm not asking a lot!
1. Please understand that I'm not an object, I'm not a piece of meat to be ogled at.I am a woman and my eyes are up here, not down there.While you were staring at my ass for the last 5 minutes we could've been having a decent conversation which leads me to the next number.
2. I am not knowledgeable in every subject known to man, nor do I have an opinion about everything that goes on in this world, however I can hold my own and I do know my stuff. I would like to have a decent conversation, one that happens to be intelligent, but doesn't revolve around beer and/or drinking, how you're so much different then every other guy, past relationships, reality TV, celebrities you'd like to screw, ex-girlfriends, etc.Instead I'd love to have a conversation about things in life: your future, goals, family, what your personal philosophy is, what really makes you different then everyone else.But please also don't make my head spin with your talk about things that are so over my head that I either fall asleep or I'm so baffled that I need a dictionary or an interpreter to understand what you're saying.Is it too much to ask for a little middle ground?LOL!
3.I am a very strong, independent and at times can me an intimidating woman.Yes, I do martial arts, yes I'm a very high ranking black belt, yes I can most likely kick your ass, yes I can handle myself in a situation without your help, yes I'm a female chef in a very male-dominated atmosphere and have heard every sick, disgusting joke directed at females.So with all of this considered do not be intimidated by any of this.This is not a blow to your manhood.In fact this should be even more attractive to you knowing that your date and/or girlfriend can hold her own and that you're not going to have to worry about her.This doesn't mean that I have to be in control or that I'm the one wearing the pants or the only one that can handle situations or problems.As much as I'm an independent and strong woman, who doesn't necessarily NEED you to take care of me, I'm very much a woman at the end of the day who WANTS you to take care of me and would appreciate that safety and security.
4. Family will and always will be a major priority in my life.I have my chef career, I have my martial arts career and I have my family.Those are very important things in my life and things that I WILL NOT sacrifice. But by me saying that DOES NOT mean that I can't or won't sacrifice those things to be with you.Just because I have obligations in my life doesn't mean I won't change them but don't ever for a second think I will.You need to prove to me that you're worthy for me to make time for you and to make sacrifices for you so that I can see you.If you don't then I'm going to keep going on with what I do.I have priorities in my life that are important to me, but guess what you do too!And I don't ask you to put those on hold for me so please don't ask or expect me to do those things for you.
5. Communication is so important.I am not and will not ever be a mind reader.I think I read signals pretty well for the most part, but with no signals or communication don't expect me to just pull out of my ass what's wrong with you.Unfortunately I'm not capable of being on the Psychic Friends Network.I do not have ESPN! LOL! Is it that difficult for you to "talk" about what's going on?Because for me it's a simple task that I do every day and something that I'm sure you do too.This is not some foreign idea, it's just talking and believe me it makes all the difference in the world.
6. Don't feed me those ridiculous lines about how trustworthiness and honesty is key and that if the opposite sex doesn't have those it's just a deal breaker for you.But then don't turn around and lie to me and be deceitful.Just be up front and honest with me to begin with.Believe me I'm going to respect you so much more if you tell me like it is to begin with then if you keep something going on and then spring some of that ridiculous nonsense on me later.That just isn't right!Just don't feed me any lines.We're all grown ups here, we're not kids back in the 6th grade where dating was all secretive and we passed notes to each other in class.This is the 21st century and I think we're all grown up enough to be able to have respect for the other person in the situation.
So basically to sum it all up all I want is to be treated with respect and honesty.Sometimes I think that the world isn't even filled with chivalrous men anymore.What happened to opening up a car door for your date? Sliding her chair out at dinner?Walking her to her door at night?That's such a lost art now, and I'm dying to find someone that doesn't think he's a "wuss" for doing something like that.Women like to be treated well, but if you do that to us imagine how good we're going to treat you in return.If you start off treating me like crap you better believe your butt is going to be kicked to the curb.I'm not saying that we need to "court" like back in the day, but chivalry is a lost art now and women we need some more of that.I'm not saying you guys deserve all the blame.Us women have made it difficult for you too!
But I'm not just some woman.I deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and decency.I will not tolerate less than that.I don't believe I'm asking for a lot.I know you'd all ask for the same in return whether it's from a significant other, a family member, a co-worker, etc...If my Daddy treats me with the utmost respect and admiration then you deserve to do the same.I'm not tooting my own horn here saying I'm the best, but I'm telling you I don't want the drama or the game playing.I don't want there to be gray areas, I want there to be black and white.Either you like me or you don't like me.You want to see me or you don't want to see me. You're attracted to me or you think I'm hideous.It's as simple as that!No middle ground!
So to sum it up, I guess I am still looking for the infamous "ONE." And I'm starting to think that maybe I have a complex, maybe it's me.Maybe I'm the career girl who's meant to have a successful career but unsuccessful in love.I don't wanna be that girl that's married to her job or married to her career.People have balanced it all out before and it has worked out so why can't it work out for me too?I guess maybe I should just stop looking.Maybe that's my best bet.I don't think I'm asking for a lot and I don't think I demand a lot out of you either.I don't have a checklist that I'm sitting at home checking off when I first meet you: Brown hair...Check, Athletic...Check, Non-smoker...Check, Not married...Check.
I think people in life deserve the best and deserve to be treated with the utmost decency and respect.Now don't get me wrong there's a lot of women out there who are just asking for it and who do deserve to be treated that way because they attract that kind of negative attention and don't do anything about the situation. I am not and will never be one of those women.All my friends who have been going through relationship drama lately I always tell them that they don't deserve to be treated like that.And you know what they really don't.That's not just me being the loyal friend and going along with what they're saying just because I'm biased.It's true!Some of this stuff we don't deserve to be dealing with and we all deserve to be adored and taken care of at some point, but for what price?The price of heartache, broken hearts, and failed relationships over and over again?NO!!!!Absolutely not!We all deserve that kind of connection and attachment in our lives and I guess it's easier to tell friends/family that, but not take my own advice.
Ahhh....well that's my rant for the evening.I think I feel better getting it out.They do say there's a lid to every pot, but I'm starting to think I'm that retarded, dysfunctional pot in the cabinet that you can never find the lid for and is usually always missing or you have to use an oversize one to get the job done.Haha!(You know everyone has at least one of those pots in the cabinet!) But hopefully I'll find my lid one day!I know he's out there somewhere, but it sure is taking him really long to surface!!!!
Hope you enjoyed my rant!Until next time peeps...
<3 Stace <3