Memories!

Memory: The mental capacity or faculty of retaining and reviving facts, events, impressions, etc., or of recalling or recognizing previous experiences. The state or fact of being remembered. A mental impression retained.

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose".  ~From the television show The Wonder Years

Have you ever just stopped to think back, to reach back into those archives, dig down deep and remember the things that are most important to you in life? For some reason I'm feeling awfully nostalgic tonight and I dipped back into the deep recesses of my brain and found some memories really worth holding on to, but how come there were some that I didn't have to reach for?How come there were some memories that were right on the surface and just appeared?Because those are the one's you hold close and the one's that you're never going to let go.

I think we get so caught up in everyday life and the hustle and bustle of our daily routine's that we hardly take a step back to look at how we got here to this point.Are we happy where we're at?Could we have taken a different path?Are we ready to take a leap into the future? Don't you just wish life could be like those Choose Your Own Adventure books?You can just decide how you're life is going to turn out just by the turn of a page?Sometimes I wonder if the memories that we create and the one's that we hold on to are the one's that mold who we are and shape us into what we are and what we're about to become.

I can remember at the age of 5 not being able to reach the kitchen counter to help my Dad cook so he would pull out a drawer for me so that I could stand in it and help him chop celery with a plastic knife (not a real one, because I'm sure they realized at an early age not to let Stacey handle sharp instruments) to make tuna salad.I can remember playing "kitchen" and serving my parents dinner with all fake food of course.A donut became a hamburger, and if you thought otherwise then you didn't get to eat!I remember being such a picky eater as a child and eating raw hot dogs dipped in ketchup and bologna.This couldn't possibly be the makings of a chef right?How do you prepare yourself for a life as a chef when hot dogs and bologna are your only staple?Was cutting that celery with a plastic knife inside a kitchen drawer the makings of a chef?Was it those experiences and those memories that molded me into who I am today?

I can remember wanting to be like my brother so bad as a kid.I helped pick up ground balls for him when he played baseball.I wanted my Barbie's to play with his G.I.Joe's and all of his wrestling action figures.I ran around without a shirt on and just shorts when it was swimming season because I wanted to be just like my brother.I even had a terrible mullet-style haircut (not one of my prouder moments) just like my brother too!And the icing on the cake was I even tried to pee standing up like my brother did, and obviously that one didn't work.Did growing up wanting to be a tomboy just like my brother mold me into the strong independent woman I am today?Did having that particular upbringing mold me into the soft, feminine, delicate female who doesn't take any crap from anyone now?Was it those kind of experiences that turned me into a cute, innocent woman but deep down inside a strong-willed, brave and courageous young lady?

I came to the conclusion at a young age after gymnastics, tap dance, and Girl Scouts that there was no hope for me in an atmosphere surrounded by snotty, little brat girls!So that's when I made the decision to take up martial arts just like my brother and Dad.I found that it was something that they were connected to with eachother and I kinda felt left out so that was my intention originally.As a child you don't want to be left out of anything and I always wanted to do everything my brother wanted to do.I was a terrible martial artist at first.I wouldn't listen, I was clumsy, and awkward.My brother was a natural so obviously that just pissed me off even more.I couldn't take criticism well from my Dad either because I saw him as Dad and not as Sensei.I was severely behind in class and there were all these guys in front of me who I was so envious of, because I was always at the end of the line or 3rd in line.It took so long for me to overcome those demons as a kid and persevere and realize that the criticism that I was getting was turning me into a stronger, more technical female.

It wasn't until my very 1st martial arts seminar with Sensei Cindy Hayashi that things really started to turn around.Being in a male-dominated atmosphere there were very few female "role models" or "mentors" to look up to.She took me under her wing immediately and from then on out I just soared in class.I became the 1st in line in class and gradually started to grow from there.If it wouldn't have been for her tutelage would I have ever gotten better?Who knows!If I wouldn't have given up all those girly activities, would I be the martial artist that I am today?Did those early on experiences turn me into the no nonsense hardcore martial artist that I am today?If it wouldn't have been for those experiences would I be the role model that I am today to young women?

So long story short I believe that we're all molded by the memories that we keep close by and the experiences that we have endured.I think if any of those paths in my life would've changed for a single instance I would not be where I am at today.It really puts things into perspective for you and makes you think that at any point among the journey of life that anything can change.I am blessed to have had such great memories and experiences that have impacted my life along the way.I hold on to those every single day!They mold me into the person that I have become and the person that I want to be.

If it weren't for some serious tutelage along the way I'm not too sure I would've survived in two very male-dominated atmosphere's.You have to have a thick skin and you have to want it bad enough.Perseverance is key and motivation to get you to the end result that you want. I continue to make memories everyday with people around me.You have all impacted my life in a positive or negative way and you have all touched me in one way or another.Each and every one of you has molded me somehow and some way.

Taking this trip down Memory Lane makes me think that I'm ready to start my own memories with someone else.I think the missing link in my life that I feel is someone to share those memories with.Sure I have my family and friends, who for the most part have been a part of those memories and experiences, but I'm ready to share them with someone I love and someone who I can start making my own memories with.That's the missing link!I want to be able to love someone as much as I love my family, my friends and my memories that I've created with all of them.I want that person to be able to feel my love, share in that love with me, and help me to create new memories together.I think that's the missing puzzle piece that I'm feeling.

In the movie Eat, Pray, Love Julia Roberts talks about wanting to go somewhere where she could marvel at something.I want to be able to wake up every day and be able to marvel at something.Hers was through an abundance of incredibly delicious food in Italy, meditation and spirtuality in India and eventually finding her own inner peace and love again in Bali.I want to be able to wake up and look outside my window and see the ocean.I want to be able to smell plumeria flowers and stick my feet in the sand.I want to wake up and feel 110% satisfied that what I'm going to do that day makes me happy, that the people that I associate with make me happy and that what I'm doing with my life at the end of the day makes me satisfied and happy.

I think I'm ready for that leap.I'm ready to make a blind leap of faith to do something for me. I'm ready for my future and I'm ready to share that with someone.I have no idea how this so-called "leap" might happen but I know when and if it does come my way I'm ready for it.I feel like I'm ready for the new chapter in my life.I have created such AMAZING memories with the previous chapters, but I'm kind of ready to write my own book now I think.I need to start filling those chapters with memories of my own and future memories that I'm ready to create with someone else.So hopefully that path and journey will become abundantly clear in the near future because I'm certainly ready for that bumpy ride!

Anyway, that was my long drawn-out take on where life is hopefully taking me.Feeling a bit nostalgic tonight!

Until next time...

<3 Stace <3

"Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart". ~Thomas Fuller

Corporate politics!

There are those of us out there in this world who love that 9 to 5 job, sitting behind a desk all day, taking orders from superiors younger than us, running to get coffee for all the Executives, waking up and doing it all the next day.Then there are others of us who try to break that mold and aren't working robots.Well I have come to the conclusion that I definitely fit into the last category.

I've recently become exposed to what I like to call "corporate politics" or what really should be called "corporate bullshit!" LOL! The current position that I'm at now is the first "corporation" that I've ever worked for. Before I've worked for independently owned restaurants or catering companies, but now I've come to the big bad world of CORPORATIONS.Now maybe some people enjoy fitting into that little cookie cutter type world and it doesn't bother them to take orders from someone who's never spent a day in a kitchen, but I have to say that it's become abundantly clear to me that I'm not one of those people.

For being the 12th biggest corporation in the world to work for you sure treat your employees like crap. There is ZERO incentive for going above and beyond and giving 110% everyday because you're going to get treated the same as that lowly dishwasher making 8 bucks an hour.ATTENTION Mr. Overweight Corporate @$$HOLE: I'm a chef and a professional and I went to culinary school so the fact that all of my tongs need to be facing the same way and need to match is completely irrelevant to the quality of the food that I'm putting out.

How does the color of my chef coat or the fact that I put out decorations on my station affect the quality of the food I'm producing?If you would take a survey among all the students at Thunderbird who eat my salads in the Commons not only will you get positive feedback on the amount of personal interaction they get and good customer service, but you will find that the reason they keep coming back is because the food is fresh and DELICIOUS.So if you want to keep limiting my creative ability and take away all the "personal touches" that I offer to these students then you can better forget me even giving the utmost in customer service.

Why should I do that?Why should I bust my ass and go above and beyond anymore if I'm just a number, if I'm just a salad making robot?There is absolutely no incentive for working hard other than a paycheck every two weeks that shows how severely underpaid you really are.Have you ever noticed that people in positions of power and authority or management are generally overweight?You wanna know why?Because they sit on their asses all day.I challenge you Mr. Corporate Big Shot to work one day in my shoes, right beside me from start to finish and see what happens.

You will see that there is constant work throughout the day, prepping like a mad woman, serving a ridiculous amount of customers in a calm and efficient way and coming back the next day and starting the same vicious cycle all over again.But, no it's easier to talk about how my tongs need to match and all my containers need to be metal and how my menu, or what you called "signage" needs to be on a specific kind of card stock with the same font.What you're gradually turning us into is working robots and what's going to end up happening is we're just going to malfunction one day and you're going to lose one of the best robots you've ever had buddy!

You're getting paid millions of dollars to walk into our Commons and tell us our tongs aren't facing the right way?How about you applaud your employees for doing a marvelous job?How about you commend me for doing an outstanding job everyday and for really taking a leadership role and bringing so much creativity to the table and running such a successful and beneficial station at the Commons?Nope, you're too worried about decorations and making sure there are no "personal touches" around there.

Well congrats Mr. Big Shot, you're gonna get exactly what you want.Two can play that game!And when customers start complaining about how come Stacey doesn't have any decorations anymore or how come Stacey couldn't bring candy canes in for us at Christmas or how come Stacey doesn't come up with her own salads anymore, then my answer to you will be well I'm just doing what you told me Mr. Boss Man, just following the rules that you set out for me.I'm trying to be as cookie cutter for you as possible.But I doubt that will last very long because sadly I don't want to work for a place that doesn't encourage creativity and doesn't allow you to be an individual.

So if you're not careful, you're going to lose something great, but you know what?It'll be your loss because I have bigger and better things to look forward to in my career.It's just sad that decorations and tong positioning could end an extremely great thing!Better make me an offer I can't refuse fast or this "rule breaker" will be outta there faster than you can say "ratatouille!"

End of rant again!Just tired of people not recognizing hard work and dedication and trying to eliminate creative ability.Hopefully this was entertaining to read!I'm thinking about printing it out and reading it at the next meeting and letting some fireworks fly! =D

Until next time my avid readers!!!

<3 Stace <3

Katy Perry's Music Video "Firework"

Work Ethic

"Laziness may appear attractive but work gives satisfaction." -Anne Frank-

It seems that as of late I've been noticing a gradual decline in actual WORK. According to Webster's Dictionary the definition of work is: 1.) Exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil. 2.) Something on which exertion or labor is expended; a task or undertaking. 3.) Productive or operative activity. 4.) The result of exertion, labor, or activity; a deed or performance.

So according to those examples of the definition of work one would conclude that in order to actually achieve something or attain something there has to be some sort of WORK involved. I am so sick and tired of the attitudes of others that it's just easier to lolly gag around all day long and not actually put in any effort.I was raised to have a strong work ethic.My parents never had to instill those values in me when I was younger, but I grew to understand what it was that I had to do to succeed and be successful in life. And with that came a whole lot of hard work.

I was accepted to culinary school when I was 15 years old, a Sophomore in high school.While most of the other kids were off goofing around, I just couldn't wait to get out of high school and start my career.I started taking workshops and classes at the Art Institute of Phoenix when I was 15 and established an amazing relationship with all the chefs before I even started school.So by the time I actually graduated high school they were all thinking: "Well it's about damn time you got here already!" LOL! Because of the relationships that I had with all of those chefs they knew about me already and knew that I was ready to give 110% so they knew that they could push me to the brink.I think that's where my work ethic within the culinary industry was established.I was pushed so hard and had to overcome obstacles and succeed under intense pressure and essentially compete with the other students.

We were all classmates, yes, but we were all essentially competing to have that extra special dish that gained the chef's approval, or that extra tip in the dining hall for giving great customer service to the customers, or having an AWESOME portfolio at graduation that earned you the best portfolio nomination.(Which I got by the way!) So in essence I was constantly striving, constantly working to attain and achieve excellence.That was just the foundation of my future.I started out at the bottom and through my perseverance was recognized for my hard work.I surpassed all of my other co-workers at a wine bar to become the Executive Chef at 21 years old.I started out as a Sous Chef at a corporate catering company and within a year was the Executive Chef for 3 years. Now I have the creative ability to make my own salad creations.To be honest all of these experiences have made me a better person and I have put in the time and effort.The next chapter will be my own place and running my own business.I feel like the hard work that I've established and created for myself has now prepared me to open my own establishment.It is time and it will happen!!!

Even in the martial arts I've had to work so damn hard to get where I'm at now.Being in two very male-dominated industries is difficult.The kitchen is a male stomping ground and if you can't hold your own in there you're dead meat.The martial arts community is the same way.It's helped me establish a thicker skin so I just let stuff roll off and not put up with any one's shit!I was not the greatest martial artist when I started out. Imagine me being at the back of the line with all these guys in front of me.How deflating!My brother was a natural, my Dad was my instructor and I just felt so inadequate.

Finally, instead of getting alligator tears in my eyes every time I did something wrong, I started to accept it, and deal with it and realize that my Dad's criticism was what was going to make me not only a better martial artist, but a stronger female.I was pushed to the brink as well and shed a lot of blood, sweat and tears to get where I'm at now.A 26 year old, 5th degree black belt is kinda unheard of in a Jujutsu system, but believe me it sure wasn't easy.It took an awful lot of hard work and dedication to get me to the place I'm at now and the journey still continues.

My reason for saying all this is one of my biggest pet peeves is terrible work ethic.Let's take my job for instance: I bust my ass every single day from 5:30 in the morning until 2:30 in the afternoon, constantly moving, always trying to stay one step ahead and trying to help others out when I can, as much as I can. When my station opens I serve an insane amount of people everyday, without trying to lose my cool (which doesn't always happen) without ever a peep or ever asking for help.There are some others who I see just prance around the kitchen, with no sense of urgency, no time frame, and no concept of real true work ethic. There are people there who bust their butts every single day and no one ever offers to help them.I'm tired of seeing people depending on other people, or when you have 5 people in line you call for help, asking others to do your job for you, standing around texting all day, walking around like you have absolutely no clue.

This is a job and it's a professional environment and when you come to work you come prepared to work.I give 110% every single day and if you can't do that then you shouldn't be there.There needs to be consequences for your actions.Coming in late: you should be written up, texting while working: you should have your phone taken away from you, coming in not feeling well: you should go home.There are zero repercussions for people's actions and I'm just sick of it.I'm tired of continuing to give my all every single day and it go unnoticed by management, while others just skim by and do the bare minimum.I get treated the exact same as they do.And you know what?It's wrong!Completely wrong!I am a chef and I have worked hard to get where I am.I am not a lowly line cook who doesn't know what she's doing.I bust my ass at my job, have the degree to back it up, so I deserve to get treated better than everyone else because I do a better job than everyone else.

The same also goes in the martial arts world.I'm tired of seeing pity pat strikes and just going through the motions.You're there to do martial arts, not there to socialize.If you can't give 100% on the mat then get the hell off.We don't want you to be there if you don't want to be.You signed up knowing what you were getting yourself into and if you don't like being hit, don't like sweating and don't like getting beat up then ballet is for you, not martial arts.We don't stand around and "converse" about our techniques, we do them.And if we do them 100 times so what.Keep doing it and quit standing around talking about it.Put in some damn effort!

So as you can see I get super passionate about what I believe in!I've had several conversations about this with co-workers who get it and who are actually in the same boat as me.I would love to say that it would be nice not to come in and work as hard but it's not just me.I'm not asking for praise on an everyday basis but what I am asking for is a little appreciation for the hard work and effort that I put in on a daily basis.Sadly, it's going to come to the point where I just don't put up with it anymore and say something, but then that makes Stacey the bitch for actually speaking the truth.Satisfaction will never be complete for me until I open my own place and I'm the only one that can see how my hard work has made my business successful.Until then I will just keep trucking on, doing what I do every day and still being under-appreciated for it while everyone else does the bare minimum.

Hopefully one day these people will recognize that their laziness and poor work ethic isn't getting them anywhere but that might be later rather than sooner, and at that point I will have no sympathy for them.Just put in some effort and at least try to do a good job.You know that's why they call it WORK!!!

End of rant! Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.It'll be brought up at the next meeting! LOL! Some one's gotta start feeling the wrath! =D

Until next time boys and girls... ~Stacey~

"Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory." -Mahatma Gandhi-